The One Minute Coach

You Are The Voice

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 03:52:00 +0000

You’re the voice

In my workshops I am often encountered with people who say they are lost. They feel they need direction and want me to show them. “I hate my job and I want to quit, what do you think I should do ?” “My husband abuses me, I want a divorce, what do you think I should do ?” “I am not happy with my life, what do you think I should do ?”

At some point or the other we have all felt lost. We found ourselves at a junction where we didn’t know which turn to take ! We have all been at cross roads of right/ wrong/ compromise/ follow your heart. And it is in times extreme stress and despair that we look for a person who has the answers to our questions. We look for that voice outside which will give us those magical words of wisdom to set our world right.

What I am proposing is this. There is no answer outside. All answers are within. You are more than you give yourself credit for. If you asked me my age, and if I said, “I am 63” you would laugh at my face. You asked me a question and I gave you an answer, but you didn’t buy it ! I move on to tell you “I am 42”, you still won’t believe me. Then I say “I am 32” and you would go “hmmm that could be possible, but you look a bit younger”. The point I am driving at is this, in asking me the question you already have an estimate of the answer. You are merely looking for a match in my words. In other words, when we have a question or confusion, we already know the estimate answer. Why not act on our own answers anyways. When we seek answers from others, what we are actually seeking is companionship and re assurance that we are understood. When we turn to others to sort our world we are actually calming our own loneliness. We really want to be heard and understood than to seek advice. The greatest frustration of counsellors is that their patients don’t follow their advice. The truth is the patients just want to be heard and understood. They didn’t pay the money for advice, they paid the money to be understood. And that feeling of being heard and understood gives them enough sanity to move on with their own decisions.

I do workshops where I get people to walk on fire. Now there are many theories why the coals won’t burn you. I can quote from physics, from biology, philosophy and even spirituality. All this data helps in understanding one’s fear and one’s power. But believe me, when you are faced with the gleaming hot coals and you are next in line to take that step on the fire, you won’t remember a word of what I said. Fear does not understand science. Fear does not understand faith. Fear only understands your perspective. When fear is knocking your power out, it is what you tell yourself that will decide whether you will step on the coals or not. By the fireside, there is an intense conversation happening, between you and yourself. And finally when people walk across the coals without getting burnt, I ask them “How did you do it ?” ! And every single time I get this answer, “I told myself ............” It is always what they told themselves that took them across the coal.

Advice is good, opinions are good, knowledge is good. They give you a broader view and perspective on the world around you. But end of the day you are the one who knows your reality best. You are the keeper of your own truth. And the only person who can take you across your firewalk is your own voice.

At the fireside, there are only two options; to take the step forward in faith or to step back in fear. And that step is propelled by your own voice.

You will never know ‘how to walk on the fire’. You will never know if you will find love in your life again. You will never know if your next boss will be a better person. You will never know if you will burn on the fire. But one thing you will know for sure; when you make up your mind and take the step forward despite your fears and past failures, your entire system will support you because that is what it is designed to do. And no matter what the consequence, the place at the end of the fire bed is far more exhilarating than the place you were before.

So next time you find yourself at cross roads, consider all facts and opinions but in the end listen to your heart. People love to experiment with others lives by advicing them. And somehow all of us are experts in what is best for others. Only you know the real truth about who you are you and what you do. Only you can really sort your life. Make up your mind in the direction YOU know is right, and you will succeed. I have absolute certainty that we all know what the right thing to do is, whether we do it or not.

We belong to a culture that thrives on opinions and moves on approvals. When you open up your problem book to another, you are turning away from your own power. Listen to your own voice before it drowns in the noise of others.

Destiny is a Daily thing

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 16:42:00 +0000

Each one of us has our fair share of ‘potential’ destiny, just as the seed has the ‘potential’ of a tree. Unlike the seed, which is at the mercy of its environment to grow, we are blessed with the gift of choice, which gives us power over our environment. In other words, what that means is, we can create our own circumstance.

Life is a perspective. When you change your perspective, you change the way you think. When you change the way you think, you change how you feel. When you feel better, you perform better. And when you perform better on a daily basis, you see magical results.

A lot of people feel that the past shapes the future. If you look carefully, today is a result of your past. Today will be the past for tomorrow. So in a more intense perspective, it is today that will eventually equal to your future. Don’t use your past mistakes and mishaps as the foundation of an unfortunate future. You fail tomorrow if you fail today. You don’t fail tomorrow because you failed yesterday.

You can have a shot to success everyday. A lot of people quit on their lives because they feel that their past has been too messed up. Success eludes them because they continue to live their life ‘everyday’ in the same mindset of helplessness. At some point or the other, we have all made mistakes, we all have been beaten, we all have been cheated, we all have all fallen short of our own expectations. At some point or the other, we have wronged ourselves and wronged others. But the only point where destiny is shaped is the point where you stand now. It is ‘now’ where you choose what you will do about all that has happened to you and all that you can make happen for yourself. It is in your choice today, that you will set a whole series of events and intentions in action for the future. Today is a chance for you to set your past right. Learning from your past is a smart thing to do, but only the ignorant live their past everyday.

I do personal breakthrough workshops and use the firewalk as an analogy to make this point. I often tell people that just because they got burnt in the past does not mean that they will burn today on my firewalk. Burns like accidents happen when one is not paying attention, when one acts out of ignorance and when one lacks intention. When people do walk on fire, they do so with full attention, awareness and intention. Is it then magic that they did not get burnt ? Certainly it is magic. There is magic in paying attention, there is magic in awareness and there is magic when actions are done intentionally. So what role does a past burn have to play in the decisions you make today ? Every burn, every loss, every hurt teaches you one lesson: “responsibility”. If you learn to take responsibility of what happens to you, then you become a powerful person. Destiny is not about what happens to you, destiny is shaped in what you do about it here from.

All people who rose to greatness had pasts they were not proud of. They have also had their share of misfortunes. They became great because no matter what happened to them, they made choices of greatness on a daily basis. Whether it is Bill Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, Mahatma Gandhi, your next door neighbour, or you, all alike, have some parts of their past that could potentially destroy them. And all alike, have equal opportunity to create a better life. And that opportunity knocks your door daily in every choice and in every decision you make.

You too can create your own destiny, and you can start today. As long as you are alive, you have your shot at creating your world the way you want it. Your destiny is giving you a chance daily. Grab it.

I have a great life

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 07:44:00 +0000

I have a great life, and if only I would tell myself that everyday, I would have a great life everyday :)

Im here in East Grinstead and just being here is an indication of a great life. I landed at Heathrow and the madness I left in Bombay picks you up right at the airport. Its as busy as life can sometimes be. I had to walk a mile with my suitcase (thank God for trolley bags) to the Central Bus Station. People pass you by and everyone has somewhere to go, no one is really there. Only bodies present in the airport, the mind is always somewhere else, either at the place they left, or the place they were headed for. I tried my best to be "there" and I found I was alone.

The Central Bus Station is not a fancy pick from the Bollywood movie. Its pretty cold with just alleys for buses to stand. Unlike in India you have vending machines near the benches while you wait. I was hungry and I was cold. Its funny how cold and hunger go together. I have never found myself saying "Im hot and Im hungry", thirsty is much appropriate. I dont know what the English were thinking when next to the bench at the bus station, out in the cold, they have vending machines selling ice creams. I was cold and I was hungry and the only thing I could find handy to eat was ice cream. I dont know what the selling psychology is here, but I headed for the machine. Atleast after eating the ice cream I wont be hungry anymore, only a lot more colder. I put in a 10 pound note with the queen side up, and the machine swallowed her with delight spitting out some wasted change in disgust, and out popped a "Caramel Cream" cup. I ate it with sadistic pleasure my teeth and oesophagus (the canal that takes your food from the mouth to the stomach) shivering in a musical rythm. By the time I finished my cup, my tongue was numb and when the ticket collector asked me "Where are you getting off my lady" I could only babble "South Terminal". He gave me a puzzled glance and shrugged his shoulders "hop in" was all he had to say.

East Grindstead is a pretty small town. And Forest Row is a pretty place, true to its name, with Forests everywhere.

My first few days were mainly a focus on my health. "How can anyone make themselves so sick ? You have done a great job at that !" Is what my teacher had to say. I felt great already. Whenever someone compliments me, I feel great, even if the compliment was directed at me making myself sick. I guess in my delight that "I did it", I also realised "I" did it. And now I didnt want to do it anymore. "How can I undo my sickness ?" I asked alarmed. "I was beginning to think you would never ask" my teacher said. I always thought she was too pretty to be a teacher. All teachers I had since then were bland, unattractive and yet very wise. I always thought wisdom and beauty dont stay in the same place, but G changed that perception. She was a stunning teacher.

I was sent to a chiropractor who would tell me how to undo my sickness. Its funny how I created sickness without any instructions and now I had to be taught how to undo it. "Whatever" I muttered to myself "I will make myself well".
The chiropractor was an Italian guy. Massimo. Nice name I thought. Instantly in image of an Italian hunk, long hair, golden skin, dimpled cheek, shiny white teeth came to my mind. And before I could complete my mental sculpture the door to the consulting room opened and out walked a lean man "You must be Priya" he said in a twist almost biting his tongue. It sounded like my name in some strange language, but since he was looking at me with a smile, I nodded.
Massimo was Italian. He wore pants shorter than his size and a white shirt like the ones that sailors do. He seemed like a man who was so passionate about his work, that he had no time to dress up...er... like an Italian man. He sure had a set of shiny white teeth but the huge mole on his lip took your attention away from that. He had a dimple alright but everytime he smiled the mole almost touched the dimple. "Lets set you right" he said in a very Italian Accent, and I was ready.
A chiropractor works with your bones and aligns your body. When he finds your spine out of order he can also point to the disorder in the organs that are related with that point on the spine. One tickle down my spine and he figured that I had a colony of parasites in my stomach and intestines and also some that were causing me allergies and headaches. Wow. Italian men are smart. The first step was to set my spine right.
He lay me on a table and asked me to fold my arms clutching my shoulders. Then he twisted my neck on the side and said that he would raise me from the back, pull me in an embrace and crack my spine. "Good Lord ! If he makes a wee tiny mistake, I will not need this body anymore." I closed my eyes and Massimo put his hands under me raising me from the back in a one short "huh" cracked 6 bones on my back. "Thats good" he said. As I straightened my self on the table feeling a distinct relief in my back I realised that my long time dream had come true, of being in the arms of an Italian man, even if he was a chiropractor with short pants and a mole in his lip, genuinely interested in the vertebrae of my spinal cords and the energy imbalance of my body.

I must say that the spinal correction worked wonders on my body, though usually the hug would suffice, and I quite look forward for more wellness. ....

(to be continued) (only on special request)

Wrong Place... Wrong Time

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 15:58:00 +0000

Have you ever been in a situation, kinda, wrong place at the wrong time ? You got fired for something you didn't do ? You got hit by an angry boyfriend when you weren't even hitting on his girlfriend ? You got caught for a crime you didn't commit ? You got ketchup on your new shirt which you weren't even pouring ? Your car got banged at the signal you didnt even break ? Well, thats called timing.... at the wrong end.

I am a believer that life is not an accident. That somewhere there is a hidden intent in all that happens to us. That somewhere, unknowingly but certainly, we create our own realities.

If you have been raising your fist at the sky muttering, "Why does this always happen to me ?" Then here is some news for you.... You lead yourself towards your greatest lesson. And if you care to inspect closely, there IS something you DID or DIDNT DO that you SHOULD HAVE DONE to cause or to prevent what happened to you.

And if you are the kind who must blame another for all that happens to you, then you have bought yourself a life full of misery. It would take considerable courage to look at the situation squarely and ask yourself "How did I cause this to happen ?" The answer is not to make you small but to make you powerful. You become powerful when you are at cause and you become weak when you are at effect. If you can catch yourself "causing" all the "accidents" in your life, then you certainly can turn that around and get lucky.

Being at the right place at the right time, is what happens to a person who knows what he wants and wants it at all costs. Being at the right place at the right time needs you to be aware, to be sensitive and above all to be prepared. So when you compare this to all the "bad things that happened to you" you will find that at that time you were in a state of ignorance, confusion and chaos.

Your destiny is defined in the clarity of what you want. You lead yourself to your greatest lesson. If you are not aware, sensitive and clear then you will create that knock on your head to stop and get back in focus. Stop you sure do (raise your fist and curse) .... but get back in focus (learn and move on) is what you must do.

The Price of Love

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Fri, 29 May 2009 10:53:00 +0000

The most liberating emotion that any human can be blessed with is the ability to love and 'to allow' being loved. And when you have pets, love becomes second nature. Thats what Betty brought into my life - an experience of unconditional love, literally.

For 13 years my dog lived with me, for only one purpose, love. There was no other reason, no agenda, no expectation, no quarrels, no upsets, no negative expectation - only joy and only love.

Life was amazing for 13 years. No matter how tiring or difficult a day, Betty was there to end it in joy. One creature was always ecstatic to see me. She was my source of joy, my source of relaxation and my ever ready source of play. Betty had no reality of a "hard day" or "heart break". All she knew was "its fun time" everytime.

And the price I paid for that bundle of joy was the pain of letting go, was the pain of watching her die. I am generally a VERY strong person, but Betty tested my strength BIG TIME. It was not easy to say "good bye".

All the hardships that I have been through in life seem petty today in the face of the pain that I experienced in allowing my source of love to leave, to move on, to be set free.

Love in all purity also brings with it pain in full power, if love is not understood. What I understand now is that love is a feeling, not a person or animal. Love is in the action. Love is in the intention. And so there is no end to love. And the power of love is in spreading it. The only true source of love is the ability in each one of us to express it. I was the beneficiary of it for 13 years, and now the price is in passing it on - to BE that source of love.

My tribute to Betty is that I will be that source of joy and love in all I do. That every moment is a reason for enthusiasm and energy. That because I am alive, I must bring happiness. That the only relationship that I have with others, is the relationship of love. And in doing that I am allowing my soul to move on in peace, because I am sure hers already is !!!

A.R. Rehman and You

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 21:28:00 +0000

A.R. Rehman has practically become a living legend in the music industry. With success following him with every passing year, the 43 year old soft spoken maestro still prayers before every composition and chooses to love in all he is and all he does. With a humble beginning to worldwide recognition at the Oscars, his journey has been the path less trodden. Here is following A.R. Rehman to his stardom and leading you to yours.

1.Train well: A.R. Rehman started playing the piano at age of 4. And ever since he has trained under almost every great musician the industry has had to offer. Be aware that learning takes time, money and above all humility. You cannot expect to earn before you learn. And when you do get to learn, take it to the point of mastery like Rehman did.

2.Go the extra mile when you start: At the age of 19, Rehman used to play the keyboard for Zakir Hussain’s troupe and even after his work, he would stay back in the studio, sitting through other musicians pieces, eyes and ears tuned in, constantly imbibing. How far you want to go in your life is determined by how far you will go in your quest to learn and get better.

3.There is no substitute for experience: Before Rehman composed his first song for films, he had the experience of 300 jingles behind him. And before he composed his first jingle, he had 10 years experience of playing music in concerts, big and small. And before Rehman got his first Oscar, he had 39 years of active music experience behind him. Success is a series of experiences, the more the experience, the closer you are to success.

4.Work comes first, money follows: Even though Rehman’s advertising career was flourishing he accepted to compose music for Mani Ratnam at Rs.25,000. It was a sum that he could make in three days composing ad jingles. But he did the project for the sake of expressing his talent and not for the money. If you want to make a new start, focus on your work, the money will follow.

5.Work your options well: Rehman was a well trained musician but before starting something new he worked his options out well in advance. Before he quit advertising to take up music composition for films he learnt driving so that he could at least temporarily survive as a driver in case the film world ended for him.

6.Have a work philosophy: Rehman has a very strict work philosophy, "Rather than making money, I believe in making people happy; all other things are secondary.” If your work makes people happy, you are in business and on the path of progress.

7.Treat others with dignity and importance: It is every singer’s dream to work with A R Rehman because he makes you feel like God. His singers even go to the extent of saying that he makes you feel as if you are AR Rehman and he is just an ordinary fellow. When you treat people with importance you put them in a state of peak performance. And when your team, department and colleagues perform well, overall you stand to win too.

8.Get the best out of your team: Rehman tries to extract something extra from every one of his musicians as well as his playback singers. He believes in their additional input. And with that he makes a point to improvise, every single time. Getting the opinions of those involved in your project is the smarted thing one can do to in order to project a master piece to the world.

9.Work with people: According to Rehman his best music comes when there's an exchange of ideas, when there are stories that inspire him. Connecting with people and his team and picking their brains keeps his creativity to the highest.

10.Learn to say no: Rehman’s philosophy is simple, "To achieve something you have to take the risk of offending someone by saying no.” He can only do so many films and can compose only so many songs and has to turn down others because he just can’t do it all. Saying no is important to remain in the business of quality.

11.There is no burnout in work: Rehman believes that a burnout occurs when one is not happy with what he is doing. If you are doing work out of family pressures or financial hassles, keep your eye rested on your passion, and follow it with the first opportunity. Because if you enjoy what you do, you will never want to take a break.

12.Success is a start, not an end: On winning the Oscar’s, which is a lifetime achievement for many, Rehman was humble enough to say "It's a starting point in my career”. When you succeed, you have only started. The true journey of responsibility and creativity begins here on.

Wouldn't It Be Nice If....

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 20:29:00 +0000

Games are fun. They shape our character. They set up our personalities and also impact the way we think. Thats why its encouraged for children and adults alike, to enagage in sports and games as a part of their life.

There is this game I like in particular and playing it regularly will have a deep impact on the way you think, the way you manage your emotions, and the way you set the course of your dreams.

It's the game called "Wouldn't it be nice if...". Rules are simple, and can be played at any point of the day and other partners or players are not necessary, but sure helps in creating the some fun. The best time however to play this game is when you wake up to the world in the morning, and also at times when you feel low, lost or stuck.

Here is how it goes, when you wake up in the morning, spend about a few minutes playing and contemplating... "Wouldn't it be nice if.........." and you can complete the sentence with your hearts desire. This way you are acknowldeging all that you desire and also releasing it's hold on you by giving it away in a game. It's not a prayer, it's not a strong need, it's a game. You have fun, you imagine, you let it go,,, and by the way that's a very strong intention set in motion.

Try to play this game as a cheer yourself up tool when you are lost in your own web of worries. Worry is a game which is the exact opposite of "Wouldn't it be nice if.." Worry is a game that says, "Wouldnt all be ruined if...." The rules are the same, the impact is inevitable. Only one pushes you forward and the other pulls you down.

Wouldn't it be so nice if, everyone who read this finds happiness in the little things, such as the coincidence of this blog. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone greeted each other with a smile. Wouldn't it be nice if today I would be kinder and more tolerant. Wouldn't it be awesome if today I chose to forgive someone I had a longstanding grudge with. And wouldnt it be divine if today I chose to live in gratitude of all that have and more.
Wouldnt it be nice if you.... were lead to your own divinity.

Pain - Dental is Mental

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 18:36:00 +0000

If you have ever had a tooth ache (especially the one you have ignored for a long time), then you will understand that dental pain crosses that line of being just physical pain, it eventually becomes mental. Well, maybe,,, all pain, if left unattended, eventually affects us mentally.

Im the kind of person who does not eat medicines. I believe that the world's biggest pharmacy exists in our nervous system, and if we just allow ourselves the time and the rest, we will heal. But, some people have zero tolerance for pain. The minute there is pain, they want to run and hide from it, and pop the "pain killer". Well, let me tell you this, the pain killer does not kill the pain. It deadens or numbs the pain receptors so you wont feel the pain. Now here's the deal. The pain exists. Only you cant feel it. What good would it be too deaden a process that is naturally designed to save you ? If there were no pain, dude, you would have been long past dead.

Now imagine this, you stub your toe real bad and your nail is ripped off. But you feel no pain, and you continue on your way. And by the time, your foot grabs your attention, its already bled you off and become septic. And to take that scenerio to an extreme consequence.... you have to chop of your "gangerene" stricken foot. So is pain good ? Yes, it brings your attention towards a hurt and malfunction, so you may correct and fix it.

So, my tooth hurts and I refuse to eat a pain killer. So when pain struck me, I decided to time its duration. I took out my stop watch and observed that each time the pain struck, it lasted only 3 minutes or less. What I learnt is that if I just allowed "some time" the pain would pass. And the same is true for all pain in life. If I just "allow it some time" it will pass.

To kill pain receptors makes the system weak. To allow your system to learn and fix I think is the greatest survival tool one can learn.

Even when I have a head ache, if I just sleep it off, I am fine.
Even when my stomach is upset, if I just allow myself two days and light eating, I am fine.
Even when I catch a cold, and if I just drink some extra juice and rest, I am fine.
What I have done in the process is given a chance to my body to heal naturally, because it will. Its designed to heal, not to quit on your on a simple running nose or skin allergy. When I count on my nervous system to heal, it works up and it works fast.

And medicines, create more rucass than they heal. Pick up the pill pack and read the booklet. The "side effects" part wont impress you much. So the deal is, would you rather risk the 10 side effects mentioned , or fight out the pain for two days ? Your answer will either put you on the path of natural well being or artificially derived temporary relief.

All Paths are the Same.....

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 07:42:00 +0000

All paths are the same.... they lead nowhere :O)

If you really think about it life, learning and love are all in the journey. Where does that path lead you ? It quite depends on how you live your life. It quite depends upon what perspectives you learn from. And it quite depends upon how freely and easily you choose to love. There is no end to this journey because life and love like the Universe itself are ever expanding.

The Universe has no end. We have not been able to trace it's beginning and we have no sight of it's end. Astronomers have declared that the Universe is expanding, every minute. In that perspective, where does your journey end ? It's ever increasing. The more you do, the more there is to do. The more you learn, the more there is to learn. The more you love, the more there is to love.... What is of important is that you move towards expansion, that you move towards the creation of your own being and doing.

Wherever you are right now, make sure that your heart is in it. If your heart is not where your feet are leading you, then you cannot live, let alone learn and love. If you are lead by your heart... no matter where you are going it will make for a joyful journey.

As long as you put your heart in every moment, in every task, in every word, in every thought, you will be directed on the path of eternal bliss and divinity. And where does that lead to ? Does it really matter ? For as long as a man follows his heart and is on his way, he has connected with his infinite nature.

Drum Beats ??

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 10:20:00 +0000

Success is the prime focus for most people. Whoever you meet, wants to be successful, rich, famous, powerful, magical :O) and these are great desires to have. After all, they encourage one towards greatness. In being successful one has to stretch himself beyond what he currently is and that is "human evolution" in action.

What you must definitely know is that success is a BYPRODUCT of other virtues, habits, beliefs and attitudes. Success is an INDIRECT achievement. It is achieved AS A RESULT OF other factors. One factor that I want to talk about is the company that you keep. Someone very wisely said, "Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are and will be". Our company defines us, and the best part is that we CHOOSE who we spend our time with.

If you want to get on the fast track of success, no matter what meaning success has for you, with IMMEDIATE effect, get the negative people out of your company. Negativity is an amazing phenomena, its like that slow poison that will take over your whole system without your consent or knowing and eventually kill you; maybe not literally but surely in all ways that matters.
No matter how positive, vibrant or pan determined you are... negativity and negative people will eventually catch up on you and destroy your spirit.

What is negativity after all ? Negativity is not a physical thing. Its not an object. Its energy, its a vibe that disturbs you, that creates an effect of discomfort within you, and trust me, to break that energy flow is quite a task. It eats up many a good individual. Consider the example of a guitar. Take a guitar and frantically beat a drum in close proximity of it, without touching the guitar. And guess what ? within seconds, the strings of the guitar will begin to resonate and vibrate in the same frequency. Human beings are quite like that. When you have a negative person in your vicinity, you will eventually begin to vibrate in reaction to them. There is no escape.

See these are universal laws. Whether you and I like them or not, they exist. Make an effort to surround yourself with people who beam with positive energy and Lo ! you will find yourself inspired and charged to carry you through your endeavor of success.

And success becomes easier and fun when you spend your energy in moving beyond other hurdles than spending your energy aimlessly dealing with negative people. Its a waste of energy. You had rather use that force of energy in more productive and meaningful avenues.

Wishing you blessed company always.

Even A Crow Knows The Secret Of Life

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:51:00 +0000

Some years ago,
In the many years that I had known him...
I asked a wise man just one question...
To unlock for me the mystery of life.

And he looked at me and smiled
And i asked
"Am I not allowed this particular question ?
Is this a mystery of life forever hidden to us ?
must we live in this world, yet blind ?"

And his answer was,"Not all!"
"All living creatures ask and are entitled to this answer...
and all seek the light of knowledge."

"So, do one thing," he said
"You see that crow sitting on that fence ?
Go quickly, before he flies away
and ask him this question"

And I laughed and said,
"So this is truly not a question that i am allowed to ask !"

And he said again, "Not at all !"
" Of-course you can ask...
but you think that just because you can get an answer from me,,,,
a man who wears the robes of the wandering mendicant ..
that it will carry more weight,,,
and my experience will somehow enlighten your own mind ?"

"It is the other way around...
it does not matter who speaks a truth
what matters is who is listening
the day you are ready to hear and understand
and accept the full meaning of your own question,,,
even a lowly crow will give you the answer
to the ultimate mystery of life !"

Ponder that .... :O)

IMPATIENCE

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 23:47:00 +0000

I talk a lot about white water rafting in my workshops. Well, its an amazing sport to indulge in and to learn life lessons from.

You when you start upon a quest, whether it is to move your career to the next level, meet and marry the man of your dreams or to attain whatever your heart has taken a fancy of, there is one thing which is inevitable and that is : IT TAKES TIME. There is no fast track really, because the learning, the growing, the loving and the living lies in the journey, not in the destination.

You know when we went white water rafting, we drove up 5 km only to come down the river which covered a 20km distance. That 20 km distance was fully loaded with the calms, the rapids, the life threatening boulders and the falls. Now imagine when we went to the start point and put our raft in, and then because we were impatient to get to the finish point, put the raft back in our car and drove to the finish point in 15 minutes, and said, "Wow, we are there already". What would that experience be worth ? Nothing at all. Though we are there at the finish line, but the journey meant nothing. There was no adventure, there was no thrill, no fun, no falling, no excitement at all. So even though we were standing at the end point with our flag, what was missing was the purpose. The fulfilling of the purpose is in the journey.

Life is in the current. Don't mess it up with your impatience. All things worthwhile take time. Enjoy the ride.

Drop The Oars

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 11:17:00 +0000

I went white water rafting a couple of months ago. And if you have been as crazy as I, you will know that the joy of white water rafting is amidst the rapids that threaten to throw us off, into the raging river.
Imagine how boring it would be to get into a raft and just sail through with no excitement, no fear, no thrill and above all no challenge. Life is such. Lived to the fullest when we are thrown into rapids and like rafting, even if you fall you wont drown. The key is in trusting the system. And as long as there are people emerging rejuvenated at the finish line, all is well for you.

And the most profound part of white river rafting is that you are "expected" to go with the flow, downstream. And yet, many an ambitious fool want to row upstream. The result: So much toil and yet they get no where. And if you are those kind, who must fight against what you know best, and row upstream, you will find yourself all worked up, and with nothing to show. The raft just doesnt move. Now is the time to drop the oars. Just drop the oars. Quit the struggle, leave the fight, and surrender to the river. And when you do that, the flow turns your raft and gets you moving in the right direction. Fear not my friend, life and magic is all downstream.

Many a times I find myself moving upstream, unknowingly. But the minute I catch myself on the symptoms of unhappiness, frustration, fatigue and anger, I drop the oars. I let go of expectations and focus my attention on what makes me happy, and guess, every time I have done that, every single time I have done that, my raft turned naturally downstream.... where my true purpose, true joy and true salvation lies.

So next time you find yourself moving upstream, know that the answer lies in dropping the oars.

God Bless you, always.

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 21:06:00 +0000

I looked inside a dream today
in it i found another....
I looked inside a man today
in him, i found my brother.

If you look carefully into your dreams, in it there is home to many more dreams of a beautiful life for yourself and others. Its a dream within another dream. The thread that holds all these dreams together, is the thread of happiness. If its a dream, then it must be an attempt towards happiness and joy. Whether that joy is in driving your new sports car, connecting with your soul mate, cracking that business deal or helping a stray injured cat, each one of us have a different path towards happiness.

An ignited individual lives his life in accordance with his happiness and his every act is an act of joy and divinity. And those who still havent figures their heart out, no matter what they do, happiness still seems a corner afar.

And no matter how far you have come in your journey in the pursuit of your dreams, if you look carefully into another human being, no matter how afar their goal and your standard they may seem, you can see in them a glimpse of your own spirit. For you too, started your journey at the same point. If you could make it so far, so can he, and by all means he can.

No one is less or more, as much as no one is evil or divine. The contrast is within us all. The saint has all potential of evil and a sinner has full potential of sainthood. Its the choices we make that brings us to who we become. At any point you can choose to be on any side of the contrast.

If you are a dreamer, then you are walking the path of happiness already and if you can be compassionate towards your fellow beings than you have touched upon the spark of divinity.

God Bless you, always.

Give Yourself Away... for FREE

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 11:31:00 +0000

Give yourself away for free :O)
Give praise, give ideas, give warmth, give kindness, give love, give your time, give a helping hand.
Giving does not make you less. Giving makes you more, for to give you need to have it first. In giving yourself away, you will discover more of you. You will discover emotions you never thought you would ever feel, compassion you never thought you were capable of, and love you never imagined could be so real and so pure.
When you intent to give of yourself, you cannot expect anything in return, because there are some things than can never be paid back, they can only be paid forward. The kindness you showed to someone else, would in turn light up thousands of lives just because one life was touched.
Spend yourself in love, spend yourself in service, spend yourself in compassion, and you will have lived a life well spent.

To make a difference, YOU are enough. Infact, you are enough all by yourself. Just reach out and give yourself away,,,for free,,,and you will be rich in all that counts.

Let Your Light Shine

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 15:17:00 +0000

Our Greatest Fear is NOT that we are Inadequate...
Our greatest fear is that we are POWERFUL BEYOND MEASURE.
It is not our darkness but our light that scares us most.
There is no divinity in shrinking so that others around us wont feel small.
We were all meant to shine like children do. Its not just in some of us, its in all of us. And when we let our light shine, we unconscoiusly give others permission to do the same. And when we are liberated from our own fears, OUR MERE PRESENCE, liberates others.

Lost and Found

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 14:36:00 +0000

Lost and Found,,,, is something only a person in love can understand. For to be in love, you have to lose all the "stuff" that you built around you which is "not love"... The stressful schedules, the tension at work, the tiff between colleagues and mates, the drain of the economy falling, the fake high of being rich, the lack of time for all that is important, the fatigue at the every sunset, the lonliness at every corner, and more....
When you are in love, you begin to get lost because somehow "all of that" does not matter anymore. And suddenly it dawns on you, "Jeez !! Im lost !. I have lost track of time, I have lost all worry, I have even lost my appetite," and for many they also lose the wrinkles on their face. Nothing about anything matters except that you know that all will be well.
And as you lose all of "that", you find, a smile you cannot erase off your face. Other people find the glow on your skin and the sparkle in your eyes.
Suddenly you find that time has moved into eternity and you are aware of every second that passes by.
You find that life is short and there is so much to give. Infact, you realise you HAVE so much to give. And more over, you WANT to give yourself away.
You find in you that innosence that connects you straight with the Lord because only a person in love is capable to heal, to bless and above all to evolve.
You find that life is beautiful and the moon is brighter now than ever before. You find new meanings, more beautiful meanings to life.
And as you lose all the earlier crap, you find YOURSELF, you find YOUR PURPOSE. And only a person in love, whether in love with himself, another or the universe has the sense and the ability to live his life for the greatest good for the greatest number of people.
May you lose yourself and find love...for that is the greatest state of being.
God Bless You.... may you find love.

Mouth Shut

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 15:48:00 +0000

Mouth Shut
Silence is sometimes golden especially if opening your mouth can cost you your job and good will. People will talk and that is something you have no control over, and their talk can sometimes get you in trouble if you choose to talk on. If you violate the golden rule of silence in the following areas, the adverse consequences of your speech will cause your career and reputation much damage. Below are some situations where your silence will keep your reputation and stakes guarded.
1. Love life: Colleagues sometimes love to talk about their love life by taking you in confidence. It’s more of a declaration of their importance than the necessity to share. Make sure you don’t discuss that personal information at all with other colleagues.
2. Squabbles at home: Colleagues will sometimes discuss their squabbles at home with you. In your discussing that with others will invalidate your trustworthiness and respect. Sometimes people just want to talk their problems out. Keep it only till you.
3. Sneering about their colleagues: In talking their problems out, people may often complain about other colleagues to you. Don’t make the mistake of taking action on it, and definitely don’t make the mistake of spreading the word around. Let them sort out their differences, keep yourself out.
4. Gossip on colleagues especially the boss: Whenever some gossip reaches you about colleagues or your boss make sure you keep your lips tightly sealed. The minute you leak it out, you will also be rounded up in the process of losing good will.
5. Their dirty past: Sometimes colleagues in moments of weakness or intense emotions may let you in on their dark secrets. Forget you ever heard it. If your mouth is not shut on it, you will create an enemy out of your colleague.
6. Your opinion about other colleagues: When asked about your opinion in a negative context about a colleague, never talk negative. The idea is to rope you in on the mudslinging gang. If you have nothing good to say, it’s best to say nothing at all.

Dont be Jealous... Be Inspired

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 07:10:00 +0000

Don’t Be Jealous - Be Inspired
When we see people do things we cannot do, or have things we don't have, it might be tempting to be a little jealous. But, jealousy doesn't lead to anything except resentment, and that isn't going to help you. Instead of being jealous of others, focus on being inspired. Let the success of others move you forward towards your own success. After all, people who are doing things you want to do or have things you want are examples of what is possible for you. Next time you find yourself turning green over the success of someone else, here is what you need to consider.
1. After all, if one person can do it, it can be done. Those people ahead of you are setting a great example of what is possible. Be thankful to them because they provide examples and paths to follow. Use other people’s success to build your own confidence and power.
2. When one succeeds, it doesn't mean you have to do exactly what they do, but it gives you clues as to what works. You can still do success your own way, but it sure is great to have examples to reference. Other people’s reference will give you company in bridging your own challenges.
3. Use the examples of successful people as guides to help you achieve what you want. Learn from their success and most importantly learn from their journey and plan yours in accordance. When doing your study make sure you focus on their journey in detail. Just vying for their success may not help much but their journey towards that success will inspire you to walk on strong.

Follow Your Purpose

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 09:46:00 +0000

I took me a while to come to terms with the fraud that my ex employees did to my company. Its strange that money makes people do wierd things. Stealing money, stealing data is something that can be stolen and they did. But what they could not steal is my good will, what they definately could not touch is my talent and my purpose. My ex employees mistook that I run a "business" of training, what I do in that guise is that I follow my purpose.
My ex employees found that training is a very profitable business and that they thought they could start their own venture by stealing from me, and the consequences four months later are hilarious....
I feel that only those people who have no confidence in their ability and greatness to create and flourish would stoop to stealing. There is enough affluence on this planet for everyone. I feel that every business has the potential to being profitable, if you put your heart and soul in it. Only a purpose is nurtured to that extent of putting one's heart and soul. By doing a business for the sake of money is a waste of time. But doing business for a bigger purpose of helping make people's life easier (no matter what business you do), is that right foundation for that establishment.
By doing something because someone else is shining in it, is deviating from one's own calling. Do what resonates with YOUR heart, for in following that you will create an empire that no one can touch, you will earn that which can never be stolen.... For good will, respect, admiration, knowledge and passion are sourced in one's soul, which in its very virtue is eternal. Business will be gone after you do, but its what you created as an impact on making people's lives better, will stay on for the duration of the universe.

The Corporate Thief

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 16:04:00 +0000

In ancient times, stealing was a serious offence. And by ancient times I mean less than five years ago. Today’s young generation, especially the young professionals consider anything more than five years old to be ancient. It is even surprising to them that most cultures around the world, had certain principles around morality and that they held the belief, “Thy shall not take what is not yours” which in simpler words means, “You shall not steal.”
Almost all religions preach that stealing was against all moral principles. In some countries stealing bore a death penalty. Even today stealing bears implications of arrest and if you move down the Middle East, your hands could be cut off and hung in the public square should you be caught stealing.

But moralities are principles of the passé. The new corporate professional hasn’t been initiated to the them, and their philosophy is “We can’t follow that which we do not know”. And this ignorance has given rise to the new and improved, socially accepted, Corporate Thief.

The corporate thief is a very slick employee. He has very sharp observation coupled by even sharper hand movements. After all, to be an ace thief you need to have both these attributes.

The corporate thief is the person who steals under the pretext of:
1. If I don’t know who it belongs to, then it must be mine.
2. If it belongs to the company, then it must be mine,
3. If the company paid for a service, then the extras could be mine.
4. If it’s there, then it must be mine.

He is the person, who has no conscience issues in:
1. Packing away the toiletries from the hotel bathroom. The pretext is that these small bottles make good travel kits.
2. He sometimes would not mind even packing up the towels and napkins and bath robes. You will see these people in the gym showering in the Trident Towels and Radisson bath room wear. There is no brand as popular as Hotel Brands when it comes to bath wear.
3. Taking away stationary from office stores and storing that at home doesn’t need a moral check. Pens, notepads, eraser, sharpeners, post its, no one buys them these days, when you can just pick them up at the office. Every one does it. Even the keepers of morality do it.
4. On company conferences, all the extra T-shirts, chocolates and goodies are not worth returning back to the company. The best place to dump them is in your suitcase. After all company t-shirts make good night wear, since your size is always over when you do get to it.
5. And the mint and sugar candies kept on the tables at conferences find their way in ladies bags and men’s laptop bags to maintain their sugar levels even if they don’t suffer from diabetes.
6. They also don’t mind taking away the blankets, cushions, earphones magazines, air sickness bags and anything that they can get their hands on while traveling by air. Even if the things brought back home are utterly useless, the idea of having brought them home is satisfying enough.

A subtle breed of the corporate thief is the one who “asks for the freebies”. This is a very bold genre who won’t steal, but he will outright ask and expect to be given:
1. Before checking out from his hotel room he will ask housekeeping, “Can I have some more soap to take back”. He will ask for “some more” of the soap, and so he is openly admitting that he has taken what was already there. So it isn’t stealing.
2. He will ask for “one more” fortune cookie at the Chinese restaurant, for his son at home. And munch away his son’s fortune on the traffic light on the way home.
3. He is the guy who will ask for discounts and freebies without any inhibitions, on the pretext, “Since I am giving you my company’s business, you give me the freebies. My salary isn’t sufficient for me to buy these useless decorative trinkets anyways.”

Companies today have accepted the presence of the corporate thief and they allow budgets for it. Missing pens and stationary is no longer brought up in board meetings; they are added in “employee expense” budgets. Hotels have now started adding toiletries, cupboard accessories, ashtrays and even cutlery charges to their room charges. They now expect the guests to walk away with them. The corporate thief is now a socially accepted convict.

I guess the idea is that somehow we feel that getting more and for free, is satisfying. Often I see young professionals whacking away the little things from work, hotel rooms, restaurants, which they consider too petty to spend their hard earned money on. They had rather save their money for the things they actually want to buy. The philosophy is “Why spend and waste, when you can whack and taste.”

Dhoni's Success Principles

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 10:04:00 +0000

Mahendra Singh Dhoni is a great inspiration to me. I am always on the look out for people who rise in ranks, faster and stronger than others do.

When India won the Twenty20 world cup, what touched me most despite the fact that the boys played well, was Dhoni’s heart winning performance and speech. Following up on Dhoni I found an underlying success philosophy which can easily be applied by anyone who aspires for greatness in his or her field of endeavor.

Success is the Sweetest Revenge:
Before the Twenty20 world cup finals, Ravi Shastri had expressed his doubts on India’s victory because he felt it was pre mature for Dhoni to be the captain and it was a team of youngsters. This came from the fact that the world cup was lost by a senior team. With the victory at the Twenty20 Dhoni proved Ravi Shastri wrong and took great pleasure in quoting him at his speech after the match. It does not matter what others predict about you, everyone has the right to their opinion, and success is the sweetest revenge to shut people up, temporarily :O)

Take responsibility for your vision:
Dhoni knew that at the Twenty20 no one expected them to win, and so his philosophy was that they could actually play and have fun and make this their best game. I have heard many a professional say that their seniors don’t encourage them or push them forward. They use this excuse to remain where they are and lay the responsibility of their success and progress on everyone but themselves. Dhoni led his team to success, by taking up the responsibility of their victory, when no one else had faith in them.

Respect and Recognize your team:As a captain Dhoni has tremendous respect for his team and his players. Even on winning he addressed Yuvi as the Trump Card of the team. I have seen seniors hog the glory of their teams success by themselves. Dhoni knows that what leads the team to victory is the team, not necessarily the captain. And he is humble and fair enough to put the credit where it really belongs.

Do your job right:
I love Dhoni’s attitude where he was aware that he didn’t have good bowlers like Bentley, but he banked on Jogender Sharma. Even though others said he was slow, Dhoni stuck to his belief that to win you don’t have to be quick or extra ordinary. If one bowls in the right places it will add to the victory of the team. Dhoni is amazing, he believes that you don’t need extra ordinary talent to be a winner; you need to play the right game. When you do your work well, and well enough consistently, victory will always be yours. A lot of people use lack of talent and expertise to remain in mediocrity. They feel they are too old, too young, too slow, too fast, too fat, and too thin, as excuses for their mediocre thinking. If your mind is made up, then nothing else matters. Dhoni’s belief is a true example of that.

Make peace with the consequence of your decision:
I also love the fact that once Dhoni makes a decision he is willing to live with the consequence. He made a decision that Joginder bowl against Harbhajan Singh. He was prepared to win with it and prepared to lose with it. I feel that is an amazing attitude. A lot of people make decisions and then they are not at peace with the results. If you can make peace with failure before you play to win, nothing can take victory away from you.

Convert Pressure into Passion:
At the Twenty20 finals, Dhoni He didn’t want the team to work under pressure. He told his team this in every meeting, “Guys we are out here to enjoy. We will give our 100% and whatever is the outcome, I don’t care about it.” There was no fear amongst the youngsters, which was so refreshing to see. He told Yuvi that even Australia was under pressure because they have the reputation of winning. He took the pressure and converted it into passion, and we saw that so evidently on the field. Take all of your pressure and steam it off in fun. Having fun doesn’t mean being irresponsible, it means working with your best self.

Win more than you lose:
When Dhoni was asked, how he plans to maintain his position of India’s captain, he said, “We will win more matches than we lose.” He didn’t say that he will win them all, because he knows that losing is a lesson towards winning. A lot of us drive ourselves crazy by expecting to win every time we get on with our work. There will be good deals and bad deals, good days and bad days; success is about creating the good ones more often than the bad ones.

Be consistent in your performance:
When you go out and deliver your best, there is a catch. You now have to deliver excellence consistently and it also raises the expectations of your seniors. Dhoni is every aware of that after his mega innings at Vizag against Pakistan. He knows that he gave his 100 percent in that and that it was his BEST performance. He also knows that has raised the expectations of his fans from him to deliver that consistently. And he is working hard on himself to deliver to that expectation. No matter how hard your day, be consistent in your delivery if not better.

All training is useful:
Dhoni started out as a footballer and that training helped him in cricket too. There is really no waste in practice and knowledge, it’s like a universal formula, Success in one area, training in one area always finds use in another. There are no wasted moments or experiences in life. You can use success strategies of one area to help you win in another. Dhoni is an expert in that. You have surely been a success at some area or the other in life, use those principles and duplicate it in your work. One lady won the national level badminton championship, the principles she used to win the championship can easily be translated to her work profile. Try it, if it works for Dhoni, it will work for you.

Physical Fitness is important for success:
Dhoni attributes his success a lot towards his physical fitness. And it is true for anyone, if you are not fit; you can’t be a hit at anything that you do, period. With people taking their bodies for granted, they expect their mind to work magic. The mind lives in the body, to deliver peak performance in any area of work, you need to be physically fit.

Repeat your success:
Dhoni always aspires to out do himself. He sets a record for himself and then aspires to beat it. His philosophy is that if he can score just one more run like he did 148 in Vizag, then he can continue to be his best. He feels that if he can do it once, he can do it again! That’s the spirit. Whenever you deliver work well done, your next strategy should be to repeat that as many times as you can. Repeated success is true success. If you can do it once, you sure can do it again.

Work your way up:
Dhoni climbed the ranks. He is a true example of rising to the top,
Dhoni is an aggressive right-handed batsman and wicket keeper. Dhoni is one of the wicket-keepers who have come through the ranks of junior and India A cricket teams to represent the national team He worked his way up and was consistent in his performance that was the crucial key to his selection in the Indian Cricket team. Don’t be afraid to start at the bottom, that is a more stable way to the top, to have been through every rung.

Constant and Never Ending Improvement:
Dhoni believes in constant and never ending improvement. Success and victory don’t go to his head. When he wins he celebrates and then right after that gets down to practice on how he can do better in order to maintain his score if not beat it. Success is not an accident, it is a planned event, “My mind is constantly working on how I can get better at my game. My mind never stops.” Says Dhoni. Finding better and new ways to do the same thing that you are doing will keep you creative and excited. Either you are improving or you are deteriorating, progress is success.

Exuberate Enthusiasm:
Dhoni is always bubbling with enthusiasm. His spirit is evident in his voice and his face. It’s great to see someone so alive and so passionate about his game. Today what meets the public eye is the glory, but what they cannot see is that there was also a road full of obstacles that led there. It sometimes is a dark lonely road and you have only your own desire and courage that will bring you to the light. Dhoni, a Ranchi boy who through his sheer courage and focus made the country proud is an example of the unshakeable enthusiasm and spirit. Make enthusiasm and excitement a daily practice.

Success takes time:
When Dhoni was given a chance in the one-day series in Bangladesh, though he did nothing extraordinary in the three ODIs against Bangladesh, it was only a matter of time before he exploded on the big stage, and that happened at Vizag . So success doesn’t come instantly. There will be hitches and glitches and bad games and not so good games. You have to be at it until you strike the balance and then maintain it. Life is always a learning experience and success is about putting that experience to get better.

Self Confidence Helps:
Self-confidence has always been a trade mark of Dhoni’s personality. I have always seen him very confident and aggressive. And it applies in his batting as well as wicket keeping. Self confidence is a learnt personality trait; it comes from constantly challenging oneself, winning or losing, not being the criteria. Self confidence comes in facing one’s fears and moving ahead despite any and every odd. Challenge yourself daily, to be bigger and better than you are today.

Be the best in all your roles:
Dhoni is a pro at multi tasking. He is an ace batsman and also an ace wicket keeper. So can you imagine the level of practice he needs to do in order to achieve mastery in both? It’s like having a group of companies under your umbrella and make them all work. It’s like excelling as a CEO and excelling as father. It’s a full game when you excel in all your roles. Dhoni believes that he can't afford to be less than 100 percent in any of the two roles. He feels they complement each other and give him his identity.” Same way, one has to give 100% in any and every role that they play. All roles shape our identity.

Focus on your performance:
When Dhoni aspired to play test cricket, his focus was “I think if I perform well, and maintain my form, I will definitely get a break in Test cricket.” A lot of people want many things in life. Their focus becomes the achievement and they feel that it must be served to them just because they want it. To achieve your desire you need to perform well and maintain your form. You get noticed for your performance not your potential and Dhoni put his potential into performance and earned his space in test cricket.

Have a role model:Dhoni has a role model, the famous cricketer Gilchrist, do you? How arrogant can someone get not to acknowledge that they need a helping hand, a little guidance and a role model? All successful people have had someone they looked up to. They have followed enough to be good leaders themselves. Leaders are not born, they are followers who find their own identity in the journey, and hence lead by their own transformation. In today’s world of abundant negativity and insensitivity, a role model is so important for one to stay focused on his task.

Be superstitious about goodness:
And there is always room for superstition. Superstition that anchors you to success, for that matter anything that anchors you to success is good. About a year ago Dhoni decided to change his hairstyle completely. Besides giving him a distinct personality, he feels the new hairstyle brought him luck as well! It’s ok to have superstitions that support one’s mind towards success. Goodness is any form can never do any harm.

Letting Go

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 07:32:00 +0000

Letting go is one of the hardest ordeals for many of us, especially me. Forget whether letting go is for the good or bad, just the thought of not having "that" as a part of your life anymore, is a heavy feeling. Whether that "That" is smses in the inbox of an old phone you dont want to throw, or telephone numbers of people you havent called in the past 3 years that you dont want to delete, or an employee you must fire but dont find the heart to, or the abusive partner that you must dump but dont have the courage to, or the mundane job that kills your soul but you dont have the confidence to find a new one. I dont know what the attachment to the dead and useless is, but it is pretty real to cause us pain.

I do firewalks and where I encourage people to confront their fears or things that they feel will deliver them pain. The magical part is when you confront your fears and pain, it miraculously transforms into fun and pleasure.

I tried this with my phone. I have over 4000 sms in my old phone, which I absolutely will not get rid off because I may "need" to refer to those messages. I realised after one month that I had not once refered to my old phone. So in 30 days I have not "needed" something I have considered so important.
A friend of mine who is the M.D. of a company wanted to fire one of her employees, but she feared the "loss" it would create in her organisation. Then one day, the employee resigned and left. Within 3 weeks they found a replacement and there was no real "loss" as my friend had anticipated.

I am led to consider a different perspective. We give too much importance to things around us. We get attached to people, things, places, weather, technology to the point that we interconnect our dependance on them completely that we sometimes forget the power of our own spirit to re-create and move on to higher grounds.
I have begun to consider that life is a journey and people, places, things will not stay in our lives forever. Some will stay longer than others and eventually all will go. So if i can treat people and things with respect and dignity in experiening them while they touch my life and also in letting them go, I will always be connected to my self, which IS the real connection.

When you let go with grace and allow the person or thing their freedom towards their journey, you will never lose them, they will always visit you back. It is when you want to own anothers time and space that you restrict them enough to move away and never return. Letting go is a virtue of allowing.... allowing others a right to their own journey, freedom and learning.

I feel the journey of connection is inward not outward. As long as that connection is strong, letting in and letting go would be an attitude of service rather than possession.
Love always, Priya

New Year Resolutions Busted

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 07:05:00 +0000

The New Year brings in celebrations and aspirations. I have observed that it is during this time that people are most motivated. It is as though the 1st of January has given them a second chance to life. It is as though what happened in 2007 can be history and the future ahead is a worthy of achievements. This is the time of the year where even the meekest soul steps up and makes a resolution for a better life.
Did you know that fewer than 10% of people who set New Years' Resolutions actually achieve them? How can you ensure YOUR success this time? Try using the Tips below and you will surely move on long enough to make your resolution a reality.

1. Write Them Down. It's a fact: writing down your goals gives you a higher chance of success. A lot of times resolutions are verbal. Writing your goals down brings clarity.

2. Commit. Move beyond the land of "good ideas" to the land of true "commitment". Make the decision that you will show up for your goals. Perhaps you can do a ritual or ceremony to symbolize your commitment. When I made the resolution of getting a fitter body for 2008, I joined the gym. Paying money for your goal is a good commitment sometimes.

3. Tell People. Let your biggest fans in on your new commitments and goals for the year. Telling people about what you want to achieve puts pressure on you to deliver.

4. Get Accountability. Even better than just letting others in on your "secret" dreams and goals-get some accountability. Meet for lunch once a month with a group that will ask you, "So, how's it going with your goal?" Hire a Coach. Talk to your best friend or partner. Get some support!

5. Make a Plan. Ensure success with a step-by-step plan. Work backwards by starting with the end vision of where you want to be and working backwards to where you are today. You'll find an easy action plan to make your goals a reality. Many goals and resolutions fail because there was no plan of action laid down to mark out the steps it would take to achieve your goal.

6. Do a Goal Check-In. Before you decide on what you'll take on for the year, make certain you can answer, "YES!" to the following questions: "Am I the primary reason for setting this goal (vs. your mom, boyfriend, wife, boss, society)? Do I feel alive and energized by this goal? Is this goal in line with my life purpose or mission?"

7. Get Real! If you're contemplating putting a goal down that you always put down and never achieve, take a second look. How will this goal end DIFFERENTLY this year? Is this goal something you need to let go of? What purpose is it serving you each year? What is the good enough reason to truly commit?

8. Focus With Reminders. Once you've got your goals and plan in place, figure out ways to remind yourself. You can post your goals on the bathroom mirror or in the car or you can even put reminders on your cell phone. Figure out what works for you.

9. Believe and Visualize. Do you know the story about the group of basketball players who spent one hour visualizing making baskets, while another group actually practiced? The visualizing players had better seasons! So visualize yourself on days into the New Year with all your goals achieved. What would that look like? How would it feel? Visualize once a day and see the difference it can make in your life.

10. Treat yourself: Every time you take action towards your goal, treat yourself. It is said that true success is in the journey not the destination. So each time you set yourself on the journey, treat yourself.

May 2008 be the year that your goals and dreams reach full flight!

Follow Your Heart - Extended

firewalknow@gmail.com (Priya Kumar) — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 09:16:00 +0000

Nupur said: I agree following your heart is the best thing...but at times it might not be the smartest thing to do cause it seems that the heart lives for the today, and the decisions made may cause you pain in the future which only the brain can rationalize.
Any thoughts on the same???

Following your heart is the one thing which will lead you to success. When you follow your heart, you are doing the right thing. And you know you are doing the right thing, because all that you do and say is for the highest good. When you follow your heart, you are not the sole beneficiary of your actions and goals. You will see your family, your friends, your colleagues and the society at large benefit. But if what you do is only easing your heart and causing inconvenience or upset to those aroound you, then maybe you need to take a rain check on what is going on and in which direction your contribution and intention is moving.
The rule of the thumb is that when you follow your heart, you spread love, because that is an expression of the heart which will show up in your work. And it not only engulfs you, but affects all those who are connected with you.

Hope this helps.