Wednesday, November 25, 2009

You Are The Voice


You’re the voice

In my workshops I am often encountered with people who say they are lost. They feel they need direction and want me to show them. “I hate my job and I want to quit, what do you think I should do ?” “My husband abuses me, I want a divorce, what do you think I should do ?” “I am not happy with my life, what do you think I should do ?”

At some point or the other we have all felt lost. We found ourselves at a junction where we didn’t know which turn to take ! We have all been at cross roads of right/ wrong/ compromise/ follow your heart. And it is in times extreme stress and despair that we look for a person who has the answers to our questions. We look for that voice outside which will give us those magical words of wisdom to set our world right.

What I am proposing is this. There is no answer outside. All answers are within. You are more than you give yourself credit for. If you asked me my age, and if I said, “I am 63” you would laugh at my face. You asked me a question and I gave you an answer, but you didn’t buy it ! I move on to tell you “I am 42”, you still won’t believe me. Then I say “I am 32” and you would go “hmmm that could be possible, but you look a bit younger”. The point I am driving at is this, in asking me the question you already have an estimate of the answer. You are merely looking for a match in my words. In other words, when we have a question or confusion, we already know the estimate answer. Why not act on our own answers anyways. When we seek answers from others, what we are actually seeking is companionship and re assurance that we are understood. When we turn to others to sort our world we are actually calming our own loneliness. We really want to be heard and understood than to seek advice. The greatest frustration of counsellors is that their patients don’t follow their advice. The truth is the patients just want to be heard and understood. They didn’t pay the money for advice, they paid the money to be understood. And that feeling of being heard and understood gives them enough sanity to move on with their own decisions.

I do workshops where I get people to walk on fire. Now there are many theories why the coals won’t burn you. I can quote from physics, from biology, philosophy and even spirituality. All this data helps in understanding one’s fear and one’s power. But believe me, when you are faced with the gleaming hot coals and you are next in line to take that step on the fire, you won’t remember a word of what I said. Fear does not understand science. Fear does not understand faith. Fear only understands your perspective. When fear is knocking your power out, it is what you tell yourself that will decide whether you will step on the coals or not. By the fireside, there is an intense conversation happening, between you and yourself. And finally when people walk across the coals without getting burnt, I ask them “How did you do it ?” ! And every single time I get this answer, “I told myself ............” It is always what they told themselves that took them across the coal.

Advice is good, opinions are good, knowledge is good. They give you a broader view and perspective on the world around you. But end of the day you are the one who knows your reality best. You are the keeper of your own truth. And the only person who can take you across your firewalk is your own voice.

At the fireside, there are only two options; to take the step forward in faith or to step back in fear. And that step is propelled by your own voice.

You will never know ‘how to walk on the fire’. You will never know if you will find love in your life again. You will never know if your next boss will be a better person. You will never know if you will burn on the fire. But one thing you will know for sure; when you make up your mind and take the step forward despite your fears and past failures, your entire system will support you because that is what it is designed to do. And no matter what the consequence, the place at the end of the fire bed is far more exhilarating than the place you were before.

So next time you find yourself at cross roads, consider all facts and opinions but in the end listen to your heart. People love to experiment with others lives by advicing them. And somehow all of us are experts in what is best for others. Only you know the real truth about who you are you and what you do. Only you can really sort your life. Make up your mind in the direction YOU know is right, and you will succeed. I have absolute certainty that we all know what the right thing to do is, whether we do it or not.

We belong to a culture that thrives on opinions and moves on approvals. When you open up your problem book to another, you are turning away from your own power. Listen to your own voice before it drowns in the noise of others.

30 comments:

Nikhil B M said...

Perfectly true....

But sometimes... our own confidence is lost to the air , when we wait and wait and nothing happens what we are anticipating for...

Then again the hawks around come down to say " I told you earluer , to follow my idea... !!"

Hope you have some idea for this rebounding situation... :)

kishore said...

I happen 2 read your book ! I must say and I feel it’s written more from your hear then mind ..
In all my honesty and appreciation....I would like say,” After a long time I have come across a Women of substance”.
Luv,
Kishore

harsh patel said...

as i twitted once will say same....it need more than usual to raise oneself the way you did! I find your profession noble...wish you keep kind and noble approach while dealing with anything.
love and warmth,
Harsh.

Ria Dua said...

Hi Priya,
I attended the event organised by SHRM-MTHR in Chennai and got the opportunity to have a once in a life time experience of walking on the fire.

Want to thank you for that. Mentioned about the same in my blog. You can read it at http://ria-lize.blogspot.com/2009/10/firewalk.html

thanks again.
regards,
Ria

NIDHI said...

Hi Priya, well whatever written in the blog is rgt bt somtimes u r so lost that the decision u take r frm emotions & not frm mind bcos thr is attachment & moreover sumtimes u cant take decisions becos u dont feel u r existing.but ya one thing is thr that the day u find urself then nothing can stop u but the jouney from the lost to the recovery of self is the most crucial job.LUV & REGARDS Nidhi

kishore said...

Dear Nidi,
I would like to suggest that u need to take decision from ur inner voice(from ur heat) not from emotions and trust ur inner voice ..in my experience it looks foolish.. but it never goes wrong.
Luv, kishore

...GOD... said...

priya i was once ur student when u taught personality development at indo american institute, mumbai it was from 5th june -11th june ,2003.
it feels good to learn that u have come so far since then.i cudnt believe my eyes when i saw ur huge advertisement of ur book release at the orbit..i was one of those who flocked there to buy them...In la'kech is awesum...i enjoyed reading it. you are an awesum storyteller too..hope to attend your firewalk workshop someday ,when i have enough money..
m stil completing my engineering!
keep spreading smiles.

reena sharma said...

Awesome ! I totally agree the answers lies within ourselves,sooner we realise better for us :)
reena

reena sharma said...

Awesome ! I totally agree the answers lies within ourselves,sooner we realise better for us :)
reena

DarenPRakowski said...

很喜歡你的部落格風格,期待你的更新!..................................................

JermaineOscar said...

I love readding, and thanks for your artical.........................................

皮東 said...

笑口常開~~天天開心........................................

Harikrishnan said...

Nice one . But one thing that I noticed from my experience is that whenever your mind is getting disturbed you wont be able to take out a decision. So either u make your mind thought free and decide what to do, or just seek advise from those who have expertise in that. Because if u seek help from the real people, they surely can help u from their past experience because now they are free from thoughts.. but to get such a real friend in life is really difficult..

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shital mehta said...

Hi,
I just finished reading ur book....it was a long nice experience reading it. Learnt so many things...you are a very good narrator. I can say i was there with you with shammans at netherlands.
Thanks for a wonderful experience.shital Mehta

志竹 said...

要友誼長存,我們必須原諒彼此的小缺點。 ..................................................

Jags said...

A little late beginner on your blog.....but since starting from last 2 days....its treat to read each and every article.......

This one goes one of best...the same point as i face issues i look for an outside support but i do at the back of mind have an estimation solution:-)

gr8 thoughts:-)

@jagjit

治士士 said...

任何事都是由一個決心,一顆種子開始。........................................

吳柏廷 said...

心中有愛,才會人見人愛。 ..................................................

NylaWoodcock0502 said...

你可以從外表的美來評論一朵花或一隻蝴蝶,但你不能這樣來評論一個人........................................

宗穎 said...

廢話不多,祝你順心~^^........................................

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呈婷 said...

希望能常常看到你的更新 ........................................

詩婷v said...

your artical is so funny!! it make me so happy!! .............................................

韋于倫成 said...

Make yourself necessary to someone...................................................

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Ramesh C said...

Great. It is always true that mind is looking for a confirmation from somewhere/somebody else. And this is true for every smal and big decision. We all experience this in all phases of life. There are several examples but the most common ones are the deisions we take in our profession while married in life. We always take the confirmations from our partner and some times we get influenced too. This is a space where we get influenced easily and also make some mistakes and repent and then we take it in right stride because of our love for each other. This is very delicate space and need to be careful to avoid these mistakes. Finally it is individual decision and it matters to the individual the most.

vineetverma said...

u r gr8 priya,i love u

Ricky said...

hey Priya you are great....what ever you write,seems to be true and is true actually.
I would like to give you one name..
"MOTIVATIONAL TABLET".
Because every thing you say, It have something.... which motivates others.