Friday, July 20, 2007

Just @sk Priya: Rejected ????

Anuj Said: I am so positive and always know I'll do what I want to do in life. But recently, what I thought, I dint get and I was rejected for something at work. My morale went really low. Although I am looking at it positively and trying to think all the good things it could do, something inside me is making me feel a little less confident. I am starting to doubt things now.. I know this is not right but somehow something inside me has changed.
How do I get rid of this small negative thinking?

Rejection is one of the biggest moral stealers for many people. And it doesnt have to be that way. We must know that everyone is not the same and everyone does not have the same preferences. I love red and that may be a color you despise. And purple may be for you, but i cant stand purple. Does that mean i wont like you ? Or you wont like me ? Imagine if i were to base my judgement about people on the grounds of similar liking, i would be leading a lonely life.
There are many people who do not believe in trainings and feel that attending workshops are a waste of time, and i am ok with that. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. And they have a right to not like me, my work or my preference.
Now are you one of those, who has harshly judged or rejected another in a similar way that you feel ? By giving a harsh comment about the way people behave or look or even a contrary opinion on someone's work, we act in the same way.
I remember my friend was upset because his boss critised his work and called it "ridiculous stuff" and just a day earlier my friend was critising a movie "Jhoom Barabar Jhoom" and called it "ridiculous stuff". My question is why was it ok for him to critice other people's work and not accept it with grace when it comes back to him ? Why the hard feelings ? He sure felt nothing while saying the unkind words.

And i guess critique is so crucial for one's improvement. If no one is pushing me, how do i get better ? I dont get better when people appreciate, I feel good when appreciate. I look for improvement when people criticise.
I always ask for critique and feedback. I would love to see the loose spots that miss my eye.
Rejection is a good thing. It means being tolerant and being humble enough to seeing anothers point of view and acknowledging it with grace.
Rejection can be a good feedback mechanism. Use it to excel. Use it to reflect and re-think and re-act.


jayu said...

You are a Genius. U r so positive about anything, u find a good thing out of nothing. the picture that came in my mind was of a lotus in the marshy, swampy area.

Thank you so much for being the source of light to my life :o)

Suraj said...

Thats so true!!! even i believe that everyone has a right to express their opinion & others opinion are so crucial for me to improve. You answered anuj's question brilliantly. Now i am waiting for an answer for my question :o) Thanks so much

Nupur said...

I am still learning to listen to peoples criticisms and use what suits me best.

It was a great insight into the rejection issue. People take rejection personally, which lowers their confidence which in reality is not true.

Amrita said...

Priya, you have an uncanny ability to see the best in the worst. What a perspective!!!

It is so easy to get upset and dejected by rejections that we face, and so thoughtful to get into introspection, and check what we could learn from rejection, and propel to greater heights!

I really loved the part on taking feedback or criticism gracefully!

Anuj :) said...

WOW!! I am feeeling sooo positieve right now. Feeling so glad that I was rejected :)
Coach, that is so true. I shall apply this in my life. I am gonna accept all rejections with a smile, think of what went wrong, and change the negative into positive.
Thank you so much Ma'am, for the beautiful beautiful insight. Thanks :)