Sunday, June 24, 2007

Pain Avoidance

Why do most people avoid pain ? The first reason for any kind of "mis-deed" is ignorance or lack of proper knowledge. We were never given lessons on our own minds and our own behaviours. Its a pity that in 21 years of education, that which mattered most was neglected - YOU.
Anyhow, we were taught that pain is bad and must be avoided. We were taught that pain is an emotional issue and a learnt pattern of fuss usually follows it.
The purpose of pain is to bring into attention healing.
People avoid pain, because when they are in pain, they feel "out of control". Suddenly, they feel powerless to even perform their daily functions.
For example, I had a severe tooth ache a few days ago. And every one knows that dental problems lead to mental problems :O) I suddenly felt that I could no longer think, the pain was so severe. The first thing that ran in my head was, "How will I handle all the important meetings that are lined up ?" Suddenly I felt out of control and reached out for the pain killer.
Killing the pain is no solution. Understanding whats wrong ? why is it wrong ? how can I avoid this in the future ? are the key questions.
Understanding and Knowledge heals. Pain is the absence of correct knowledge.
Pain is the start point of healing. Allow it. And healing takes time. Allow it.
I went to the dentist, like I normally would, when my tooth hurts. He looked into my mouth and diagnosed that my wisdom truth was the culprit and gave me some anti biotics and pain killers. I would have walked out with the "healing medicines" but the key ingredient that heals the pain is understanding and knowledge. I stopped and asked the dentist, "I dont understand. My wisdom tooth has been there since long, so what is causing this pain ?" "There could be many factors," he said,"Aggressive brushing of your teeth, something that you ate that disturbed your gums and caused an infection. Many reasons. The infection must subside before I decide whether your wisdom tooth stays or not."
On my way back home I realised that sometimes I do brush my teeth aggressively, and the 6 month old tooth brush is no good. I now felt in control. All I had to do was be careful and I could avoid the same pain in the future.
Getting back in control was mentally healing. Being a victim is the attitude of "running away" and "avoidance". Most of us are taught to be victims, and victims dont take responsibility, even for their own pain.
Whenever you are in pain, take responsibility, get in control of your own situation. Understand how YOU caused it, and you will be able to take pain so gracefully.
My wisdom (tooth) is intact and I find myself brushing my teeth with heightened awareness. And all is well.
This is physical pain. But emotional pain, is a lot more challenging to handle. Broke up with a boyfriend ? Had a financial loss ? Couldnt meet your targets ? How does one handle emotional pain ?
Your comments before my opinion ? Thats the game.

10 comments:

nupur said...

Have no clue.. I am eagerly awaiting for your next write up.

Ankita said...

Like a physical examination, emotional problems also need to be carefully examined. However, it is tough to bring in any rationality/objectivity into such an examination.Thats where we are at a loss at dealing with emotional problems. Well how does one deal with them then??

Suraj said...

It is very natural to get upset emotionally but what i do generally is i try to find out the cause & in the end i realize that i was the cause so i feel okay about it. I have learnt this from you only priya that if something is going wrong in my life ultimately i am responsible for that as nobody else can affect my life except me. I am also awaiting for your write up. Thanks

Priya Kumar said...

I can see that you guys need to increase your emotional quotient. Know that Emotions decide our "motions" (actions) and our actions decide our destiny :O)
Read on

Anuj :) said...

Emotional Pain needs to be handled very sensitiviely. If i am suffering emotionally, I would generally have a 'phone a friend' helpline :) and i would just speak out my heart and mind to my friend, who is already instructed by me to just do the listening!! :)
Many of my friends suffer emotionally, so i suggest them that the pain could have been worst due to several reasons, so be grateful and also compared to so many things in life, their pain was much less..This makes them ponder and they seem to be feeling better :)

Rob said...

"emotions decide our motions" thats awsome, love that, :)

Vishal said...

I really like your explaination--and being aware and looking inwards is really what I need now..
I feel it's the same with emotional pain-- we need to look back and understand what caused it--what are the events which led to it and then this awareness would help ease it as we'd now know what not to do the next time when confronted with the same issue...

jayu said...

I will make sure that i analyse from now whenever i am in pain so that i avoid it in future, thank you so much for sharing the information which is so crucial for everyone to know and live by.

Amrita said...

Hmmm. You're right! I guess when one is going thorugh emotional pain, the answer would be the same - Sit back, analyse whats wrong, and CHANGE IT, and be in control. But the most difficult part is change. How does one do that?

sona said...

hi,
U r right. Pain teaches a lot about our habits. Do v eat healthy food, do v do exercise regularly. Is our attitude positive.
i dont keep pain killers as most of them dont suit me (or i dont suit them).I m alternate medical therapist so i treat my self.Most of my problems can be solved by yog or exercise, healthy diet etc.
Despite being careful I still have pain sometimes. Then I tell myself,"Zindagi ke sath bhi, zindagi ke badh bhi" & avoid painkillers as they kill our vital organs slowly